The Power of the Mind

Everyone in life at one point or another has heard the phrase “Stay positive.” Most people consider this just to be a catch phrase bandaid to say to someone who is feeling down. Sounds nice, but we all know it never actually helped anyone feel better. That is because the phrase is inaccurate. How can one stay positive when they are not positive to begin with? The phrase should actually be THINK positive. It is one’s thoughts that hold the true key to one’s destiny. If you think you will fail and you think you are unworthy then those thoughts will become your reality. 

This is a concept that I had to learn first hand.... 

The Start Of It All

I recently left my home state of California, where I had been living my whole life, and drove across country in a uhaul with my love and our son. Even though we left for a wonderful opportunity (my wife’s promotion) I couldn’t help but entertain copious amounts of fearful thoughts during our journey. What if I can’t find a job? What if she leaves me? What if I can’t provide for my family?.....useless crippling thoughts filled my mind and as a result I became crippled. My light, motivation, mojo all suffered. The fear spread like cancer cells an emanated from my body so vigorously that it even infected my love, who too began to fear and worry.

Once we made to it to our new home in North Carolina the thoughts of fear continued to fester. I applied to job after job but no response, my savings dwindled, I began to fight with my son and I was no longer a strong leader for my family but instead... a burden. 

The Turning Point

It took almost losing my family to activate the true key to anyone’s life-my WILL. I was NOT going to lose my family, I was NOT going to be broke, I was NOT going to fail! Once I made that declaration in my mind everything changed. 

The Result

All of a sudden I started working for a company that not only allowed me to work the hours I needed but also wanted to invest in me and placed me in administration...something I always wanted to do in my field. All of a sudden we found a great school for our son and after school program that was cheaper than most local programs. All of a sudden I was no longer at war with my son and I began to reclaim my place at the head of my family.

THOUGHTS!, it was my thoughts that almost brought destruction to everything that matters to me. It was my thoughts that almost stopped me from flourishing...but it will be my thoughts that will lead me and my family into success and happiness. It’s impossible to know your future but you do have the ability to THINK YOUR FUTURE. 

If you listen to anyone who has ever accomplished anything memorable in this world you will hear that they had been thinking of said moment in their minds for years. Even when it got hard, even when no one believed, they kept thinking of themselves as victorious until the day finally came that their thoughts were now their reality. 

The Point Is...

I urge anyone reading this, if there is anything you want to achieve in this life do not infect yourself with cancerous thoughts of fear and failure. Think of yourself as the victor, see yourself at the finish line because you are not your thoughts…..your thoughts are YOU. 

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I do not own the rights to any of the images used.

Diet VS Relationships

I do not own the rights to this photo

Can what you eat influence your relationship?

Today my son and I went to get our hair cut at Bess Cuts barber shop in North Carolina. While I was getting my haircut I found myself in a truly positive exchange of views with the two barbers in the shop. At one point in our conversation I was explaining to one barber that the journey to veganism is ultimately rooted in our relationships. Based on my conversation I developed 3 ways your diet can affect your relationships:

1. Libido

Now, I personally believe that sex is the icing on the cake when it comes to relationships. However, how can you expect your body to be capable of connecting to your partner when your arteries and pores are clogged? Sex is the act of transferring energies, so what you put into your body directly dictates what comes out. Foods such as nuts, garlic, dark greens, and berries will help take your sexual connection with your partner to that next level because your body will begin to make itself available to connect in the first place.

2. Connectivity

I used to work two jobs and my fiancée worked full time as well. We used to eat all our meals on the go and as a result our connection with not only eachother, but with our 5 year old son suffered. One day I came across a short video on Facebook by Khalid Al Ameri and he explained how he and his wife eat together on the floor and off the same plate because it heightens their sensitivity to each others' needs and ultimately allows them to connect on a deeper level. I, in turn, began to do the same thing in my family an I agree with his view point. Eating meals together will teach you new things about yourself and about your loved ones. This will ultimately lead to a greater understanding of their needs and deepen your connection with them.

3. Journey

It is my deepest belief that veganism and plant based living is a journey but, it is a journey you must share. In our family, eating isn’t just an activity, it’s an event. As a family we go to farmer’s markets where we personally hand select our food and get to see who we are getting it from. We also cook together and bond over flavors and aromas while in the kitchen. Lastly, we eat together while conversing and enjoying the fruits of our labors. That’s three instances where food helps us achieve equilibrium and harmony with one another.


In all, food is not just what we use to satisfy our hunger pains. It is a vital tool to connect with those around us. Relationships, just like our bodies, need nutrients for them to grow. So if you want that connection with your loved ones to be deeper, start with your diet.

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*Link to Bess Cuts Barbershop in Greensboro, North Carolina. It’s clean, reasonably priced and all the guys are friendly.

https://www.yelp.com/biz/bess-cuts-barber-shop-greensboro


*Link to Khalid Al Ameri video:

https://www.facebook.com/khalidalameri/videos/vl.1989627288023983/537211483324902/?type=1

Religion vs Vegan

 Is Veganism a Religion?

“People are very sensitive about what they eat. You can talk to people about exercising, relaxation, good mental attitude and they will accept that. But you talk to them about what they are eating and people are very sensitive about that.” -Dr. Ellsworth Wareham

I do not own the rights to this image.

I was having a conversation with my better half about why vegans seem to be the most serious about their food choices and why becoming a vegan is way more than just changing your diet. During the conversation I jokingly said that vegans feel that veganism is a religion and thus the practice encompasses their entire life. However, as the conversation went on I realized that my statement might not have been a joke at all. Below is my analysis of the two based categorized into phases:

The Shedding Phase

If you are apart of a particular religion or know someone that is then you are aware that in the beginning there is a shedding or what I like the call the phoenix effect. In order to embrace a new way of life one’s old self must parish. In terms of religion, you may not associate with the same people or places that you once did because these people and locations won’t aid you in your transformation. Veganism is no different; I know plenty of vegans who not only purged and cleansed their houses of food but also separated themselves from people who did not support their new found lifestyle. Once the old is gone, one’s transformed self can then rise from the ashes.


The Thirst Phase
At the beginning of one's religious journey they become absolutely thirsty for any bit of information they can find out about their new found passion. They read books (such as the Bible, Quran, etc.), they attend events, they physically seek the knowledge so that they may grow in their convictions. Again, we see a similarity with those of a vegan lifestyle. I follow many vegan groups on Facebook and Google+ and everyday I see new vegans asking for information about how to properly cook certain vegetables or advice on meal prep or reviews on vegan products. Vegans are usually well read when it comes to food; downloading ebooks, nutritional guides, and reading research articles. They physically set out to quench their thirst for vegan knowledge.


The Fellowship Phase

With the thirst for knowledge also creates the need for fellowship. In religious circles traditional gatherings such a church, mosque, or bible study serve as an opportunity to congregate with like minded individuals. Those who are new to their religious journey often seek out a mentors for guidance. Veganism is no different- social media forums, food fairs, and farmers markets all serve as opportunities for vegans to connect to one another. Vegans love to converse with one another and swap recipes or share food knowledge. New vegans often seek out advice from the more seasoned vegans in order to equip them with tools for their own journey.


The Good Works Phase

In most religions there is a push to give in some way and since time is the greatest currency, this usually results in good works or community service. The same can be said for vegans; it is no secret that many vegans are very passionate about animal rights and dedicate a lot of time an energy into this cause. However, vegans also feel the same level of passion for other causes such as their community and environment. Many vegans only get their produce (or mostly) from farmer’s markets because this directly helps local farmers within the community. Some only buy fair trade clothing, or are consciously making the effort to reduce their carbon footprint because that helps give back to the world as a whole.


The Home Participation Phase

I was raised Christian, my mother took me to church every Sunday, I attended weekly events like bible study, and many of my childhood friends came from church. Only one problem-my mother was the only Christian. My father did not follow the same religion and thus there was often conflict in the home. My father did not have a problem with my mother’s beliefs but my mother had an issue with the fact that my father did not share them. Like I said earlier, people go through a shedding phase, so when there is someone who shares your intimate space who does not share your beliefs there is bound to be conflict. I often hear new vegans say things like “I’m vegan but my husband isn’t” or “I’m vegan but I don’t force my kids to be.” This extensive level division can lead to negative outcomes. Vegan psychologist Ralph Smart who also makes videos on youtube often says if someone is your true soulmate-then they will share your diet.


The Debate Phase

Most Americans were taught by their parents that there are three things you never discuss at the dinner table: money, politics, and religion. This is because these topics tend to turn into arguments or create division within a group. Well any vegan who has publicly proclaimed their veganism has had an instance where doing so in front of a non vegan has resulted in some form of debate. My better half is always telling me stories about how she had yet another argument with a carnivore about how being vegan doesn't mean you’re malnourished. We both constantly hear statements like “I could never live like that” or “I could never stop eating meat”. It’s as if the word vegan is a threat to their way of life or principles so they feel they have to defend them. It’s gotten to the point where I tell people I’m vegan on a need to know basis because I’m tired of feeling as though I’ve made a social faux pas by bringing it up.


The Color Blind Phase

In 1964 the late Malcolm X, who was a devout muslim, made the pilgrimage to Mecca that all muslims must take at least once in their lives. Upon his return from the holy city he spoke of how it was the first time he did not experience racism. He spoke of how he came in contact with all races and creeds during his journey and race was not a focus at all. Everyone was there for the same reason and all were one. Personally, my experience with being a vegan has been similar. In my place of employment there are vegans of all cultural backgrounds, there is no such thing as a black vegan, indian vegan, etc. there are just vegans. We all have our own reasons for being vegan but we are all connected in our convictions.


So can veganism be comparable to following a religion? One definition of religion is a pursuit or interest to which someone ascribes supreme importance. If this is the case then veganism can most definitely be considered a religion because anyone who is vegan or knows a vegan knows that practicing a plant based lifestyle takes total commitment. The body is a temple and what vegans put into their bodies is considered to be of the utmost importance. I’m not trying to persuade you one way or the other, I’m merely offering you food for thought or at the very least a bit of understanding. If you are a vegan, do not feel self conscious about your convictions because it IS THAT SERIOUS. An if you are not a vegan and are starting to feel like veganism might be some sort of dietary cult….you may not be that far off from the truth.

Disclaimer: That last sentence was a JOKE. Veganism is in no way, shape, or form a cult.


I also want to share a link to an interesting video on this subject from Bite Size Vegan. https://youtu.be/QmvpzB11AMg


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